i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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