I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
