the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
