it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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