i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
