I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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