it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
