Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
