Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
