I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
