sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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