I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize