I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
