It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
