Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
