My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
