If i could tip my vagina, i would.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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