THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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