garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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