I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
