better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am naked and annoyed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
