At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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