my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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