if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
