Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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