you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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