I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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