he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
