We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Send help, water and tortillas.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
