I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he was CRYING into my vagina
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
