gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
