the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
