i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize