I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
