big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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