my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
