remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
