so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
