no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
