Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
