now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
