Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
