That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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