she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
