I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
