Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
