have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
