my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize