Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
