Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
