i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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