just tell him i said nine months
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
