I CAN MOONWALK!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
