Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize