the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
