things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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