can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
