I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize