So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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