Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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