Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
