wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
