I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
