What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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