I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
