we made out on top of his cat.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize