I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
