No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
