Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
