how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
